What do we focus on in life? Where did we get this focus from? Most importantly, does this focus bring us joy?
Young children copy the adults around them. They copy the way we speak and the way we move. This is one reason why many people believe the Alexander Technique belongs in nurseries and primary schools – so that we can work with changing ‘bad’ movement habits before they become ingrained. But it is also true that children copy our reactions, our emotional responses, our ways of thinking about the world. You can’t blame DNA here. It’s all about programming., learning patterns of behaviour, absorbing the adults’ responses, often unconsciously. Then it can take many years to undo this programming, even if, or when, we become aware that this is what it is.
We are now living in very interesting times. Whether or not you accept that something very significant happened this year, most of us are noticing that things are changing in our world.
How do you view life? There is, after all, a great deal of interest in how other people live their lives. Reality TV shows are more popular than ever, as are magazines full of gossip about real life characters and fictional ones from TV shows, films etc. Not to mention the immense popularity of Twitter, Facebook and the like….
It’s a game. Life is full of drama. What will happen next to our favourite characters? But if we are thinking about them in this way, is that being reflected in our own lives? Do we then anticipate drama, fear, doubt and guilt in our lives? Experience demonstrates that we attract to us whatever we focus on. We see this clearly in others, rarely in ourselves ( this is where the programming comes in – we see our own responses as ‘normal’) .
- We can see that our friend is embarking on yet another catastrophic relationship, just the same as last time. Why can’t he/she see it?
- The employee who hates his/her job and maybe even makes this clear to everyone – is it really a surprise when the job ends in some way?
We attract what we focus on. Unfortunately, we often don’t know that we are doing this, that we are re-playing the same dramas, the same games over and over. We focus on our past and so create more of the same for our future.
To stop this, we have to do just that – STOP and live in the moment we are in. Only then can we become aware of how we are responding , only then can we get deeply in touch with ourselves. Then, we can change the bits we don’t like, literally change our minds about how we are going to respond to certain issues. We can detach ourselves from the ‘hooks’ which pull us in to one point of view, to a certain response pattern. We can discover that there are many perspectives and we can explore them all until we find one that resonates deep within us. After all, the people we copied our behaviour patterns from copied theirs from someone else too. It’s nobody’s fault.
It is possible to feel peaceful, calm. And then, the fascinating thing is that outside events seem to change too. We attract more of what we really want, from somewhere deep within. People behave differently to us, perhaps we also find that we do, after all, have the courage to pursue that dream that we had always assumed was out of reach.
Get to know yourself. If you recognise that a thought, a behaviour, belongs to someone else and isn’t really a good fit for you, discard it. The power is yours. Treat life as a new game, one which can be fun. Assume you deserve joy. Stay very present, smile more, open your heart. Trust yourself. The old game, played for millennia by mankind, has only brought us more war, more hardship, more fear. Like has attracted like and this has been allowed to continue in this way for too long.
The game change starts within each individual. We can change the rules any time we like. We can respond differently if we simply stay in the moment and choose differently. Let time be as slow as you want it to be so that you can explore how you really feel in this ‘now’ moment. Once you understand how you think and feel, you give yourself the power to change that thought and feeling for something else. You can say no to the programming you carry only when you understand what it is. So explore yourself.
Let this next year be game change year for you!
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